Our Friend REVIEW
First, I should say that this film is based off the May 2015 article entitled “The Friend” by Matthew Teague in Esquire Magazine. The article may be even more compelling than the film. “We don’t tell each other the truth about dying, as a people,” Matthew writes in the article, “Not real dying.”
The article is about the two-year ordeal that he and his family experienced as his wife died of cancer. Perhaps more directly, it is an article about Matthew’s friend Dane who quit his job and moved in to help for almost an entire year. It is really a story about what friends do sometimes. It is about the miracle of self-sacrifice that periodically makes its presence known in the world along with all its brokenness. What we learn from the article and the movie is that a friendship can be as divine as cancer is evil. What we learn is something about what it means to carry a burden, even when it literally can mean carrying a person.
Dane arrives, consoles, serves, lifts. He suffers alongside, he protects, he creates a barrier. Dane babysits, cleans, cooks, parents, distracts, sacrifices, arranges, collaborates, encourages, and advises. He tells his friend the truth when the truth needs telling. He sits and watches TV when the company is essential to sanity. He makes a space for laughter in the dark shadows of Mt. Doom. Sometimes he sits in silence. “In just a few words,” Matthew writes: “Dane saved me. “
He is like Samwise Gamgee to Frodo in Lord of the Rings.
“I had married into this situation, but how had he gotten here?” Matthew asks in his article, “Love is not a big-enough word. He stood and faced the reality of death for my sake. He is my friend.” We get the sense from the movie that this ability to be a friend is something that Dane came into the world gifted to do. No matter what else he may not have been gifted to do.
Question for Comment: Are you a good friend?
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